I’ve said no to two opportunities recently I felt like I “should” say yes to. They were both, on paper, great opportunities.
But since I always see the word “should” popping up as a cue to check in with what judgments I’m buying into, I checked in with myself.
What I noticed was my gut was just saying no. For some reason – logic be damned – neither of these opportunities were speaking to me right now.
Something in me was telling me I was supposed to allow some space for something else to enter.
The No’s felt calm and clear and true, so I expressed my gratitude and said no thank you and felt a huge wave of relief (always a sign your intuition is on track) afterward.
But back in the day in a situation like this I would have either:
a) Said yes anyway because I felt too badly not to and then resented feeling like I “had to” do this thing
b) Said no but felt guilty and perseverated all day about whether it was OK that I was turning a good-on-paper offer down.
When it came down to it this time though, I said no to these opportunities because they just didn’t feel like a Hell yes.
I said no because saying yes to things I feel “meh” about is like saying all I need are crumbs, and I’m not willing to settle for crumbs anymore. I’ve spent more than enough time in my life doing that.
No more wasting time and energy on things I feel just lukewarm about. No more saying yes when I really mean no. No more believing, “I’m not allowed to say ‘No.'”
If you want more Hell yes’s in your life, though, you’re gonna have to start saying more No’s.
And that might feel mighty uncomfortable at first. If you were brought up being taught to be nice and polite and to not rock the boat, there’ll be a learning curve, for sure.
But comfortable or not, you’re allowed to say no to what you don’t want and to ask for what you do want in your life.
No one’s required to meet your requests or be happy about your No, but you’re allowed to say no anytime you want to anyone you want.
And you’re allowed to drop the guilt if you know you handled a situation as graciously as possible and did what truly felt right for you while respecting others’ needs.
If you’re crowding out all the space in your life with This is pretty good’s, there’s no space for the Hell yes’s.
And if you’re constantly treading water in a pool of pretty good-ness, I’m guessing you’re getting pretty exhausted. Man, wouldn’t the energy of a few YES!!!’s in your life feel amazing??
So what This is pretty good’s would you need to clear out of your life to make some room for your next Hell yes?
You’re allowed to take the space you need. Start small, and see where your intuitive No thanks lead you, one mindful choice at a time.
Melissa Maher is a Certified Professional Life Coach who takes a mindful approach to helping busy-brained women live in the moment, express their desires unapologetically, and love the bodies (and selves) they’re in today. She created the soul-supportive Joy Surfers Club [link to http://www.melissamahercoaching.com in her mission to help women live a life full of possibilities on their own terms. She is also a Registered Yoga Teacher, a Certified Nutritionist, and dedicated Vipassana meditation practitioner. She lives in beautiful San Francisco.
Melissa’s social links: Website, Facebook, Instagram
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