The Power of Your Pleasure
We are going THERE.
Self-pleasure and orgasmic energy.
This energy is our life force, a current running through our bodies at all times, waiting to be tapped into and released. When a woman is in touch with this power, and is able to utilize it in ways that are most natural and pleasurable for her, she is able to bring more creativity, resources, lovers, friends, and opportunities into her life. When a woman knows her ecstasy, she radiates. She is turned-on by her own Being and doesn’t require a perfect body or expensive potions or treatments. She is beautiful and it shines down on everything and everyone in her path.
Unfortunately, many women only think about releasing this life force energy with their partner, in the dark, quietly and shamefully, or don’t ever think about releasing it at all.
Or if they do indulge in self-pleasure, they do it in secret, never talking about it, never really enjoying it and feeling incredibly guilty about it. Like they are doing something very, very wrong.
(Just to be clear, I am talking about the pleasure of masturbation, but that term is goal-oriented and I would rather us think about this topic in a context of discovery and power not just hitting a target.)
We don’t understand how powerful and important our orgasmic energy is.
For example, the stress hormone, as most of us know by now, is cortisol, and one of the most natural and beneficial ways to lower cortisol is through meditation. However, the primary antidote to cortisol is oxytocin which is produced by human closeness, connection and — you guessed it — orgasms.
Isn’t this great news? What if you combined meditation AND orgasm? BAM. (Check out the site www.onetaste.com. I highly recommend giving this a go with someone of your choice.)
For many women, just the words “pleasure,” “masturbation,” “vagina,” “clitoris,” and “orgasm” make them completely shut down and want to hide under the covers. It’s hard for them to say the words without blushing or saying some silly non-word like “jay jay.” Really?
This needs to change. Let’s move beyond middle school and have a mature relationship with our bodies, with sensuality, with sex and with our partners.
We need to fully understand that our power actually comes from pleasure, and as we become more filled with the power of pleasure, we will attract more of what we want in life. Our confidence soars, our skin glows, we feel stronger and more alive, thus we will finish tasks, take more risks, laugh more, smile more, and connect more to life.
There is no need to feel guilty or “wrong” about pleasuring ourselves, in any way. If anything, we need to concentrate, focus and discover the importance of knowing and connecting with our own bodies and pleasure centers.
A woman’s body should be thought of and treated as the sacred work of art that it is.
And the FIRST person to appreciate this sacred body, is the woman HERSELF.
So let’s get to know our beautiful flower.
Prepare a sanctuary. Take a bath and get clean. Light your favorite candles. Give yourself a massage with your favorite lotion or oil. Maybe dab yourself with your favorite perfume or essential oils. Avoid alcohol because it is a depressant and we want all the senses lit up.
Look at her in the mirror. I’m serious. Take a small mirror and LOOK at her. Not just a glance. Get up in there and gaze at her, lovingly. She represents your creative energy. She is a reflection of the immense power you hold. Look at the shapes, colors and textures with a beginner’s mind and joyful curiosity. She is tender, exciting, flexible, supple and strong. She can do magical things. So can you.
Touch her. Experiment with what feels good to you. Explore the lips, the clitoris and the interior. Rub, caress, tug, pull, stroke. Try all types of different pressures and techniques to find out what feels good TO YOU. What does the inside feel like? Is there a painful area? An area that is sensitive? An area that doesn’t have much feeling at all? An area you didn’t know existed that surges you with a charged current and feels thrilling? Draw a map in your mind of where different sensations occur (or draw it on paper!) These are important things to know in an intimate relationship and your partner should be aware of what’s happening with you.
Release ANY guilt about what you are doing, and also release any pressure to make something happen. Relax and enjoy the process!
Focus on your body and what feels good to you. In order to have a deep, loving, sensual relationship with your partner, you HAVE to be very intimate with your own body first before being able to communicate to your partner what you like. And your partner wants to know! There is no need to be shy or feel bad like you are “correcting” him or her. This is crucial information and will elevate the experience for both of you.
This … is life affirming sexuality. There is a movement occurring around feminine power and sexual empowerment where women are turning away from origins outside themselves and turning inward for the primary source of fulfillment. Instead, focusing on the inner journey. We find our own source of love, power, passion, pleasure and purpose within ourselves before sharing with another. This empowerment leads women to see their partner as a loving addition, not the source of love itself. This reduces codependency and enables a sense of freedom within the relationship.
And let’s not forget that pleasure is also about genuine F U N. Honestly, we all need to have more fun. It just flat out feels good and is enjoyable to have a toe-curling orgasm. And you know what else is fun? Being able to give that to yourself like the precious gift it is, and teaching your partner how to do the same.
That’s closeness. That’s genuine power. That’s feminine. That’s important. That’s true intimacy.
Angie Byrd works with women who are looking to create extraordinary results—from health to wealth—in their personal and professional lives. She stands in partnership with her clients, leading them to see themselves in new and profound ways, opening possibilities for a life of intense meaning, deep relationships and wild success. Working with individuals, group programs and online programs, Angie empowers women to be bold, be radiant and take a stand for their desires. She has a degree in Journalism from the University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill, is a Certified Integrative Nutrition Coach, a Certified Transformational Life Coach, has training in Transcendental Meditation and has spent over ten years studying with, and the works of, some of the top minds in personal development and transformation.
Photo used with creative commons license by WillVision